#278 SCOTT CORTELYOU
RADIO PERSONALITY
I have some friends who used to live in Cortelyou's broadcast area and who used to listen to his morning show, "Business for Breakfast' on the way to work. They remember him as a staunch Republican. When I told one of them--who now lives in Virginia--of Cortelyou's arrest on pedophilia charges last year, here was his gut reaction:
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Gosh, doesn't that sound mean? Yeah, it sure would be, except that this arrest was Cortelyou's SECOND in the same type of crime. In simple terms, this dude HAD MORE THAN ONE CHANCE TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. Know what Cortelyou pled guilty to? Well, according to an affadavit in the case, Cortelyou thought he was talking to a 12-year-old girl on the internet and started giving her explcit instructions on masturbation.
He got a sentence of six years but according to a plea deal worked out by his attorney, Cortelyou would serve no jail time but have to register as a sex offender.
S. Olson
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Quite Possibly One of the Funniest GOP Cocksuckers on the List - #277
#277 ROBERT SOMMA
FORMER BANKRUPTCY JUDGE FOR THE 1ST DISTRICT
I thought I'd included Somma among the DUI/DWI types but I guess I left him out because he's not on my list. I include him because this is one of those stories too good to miss.
Somma quit his job as a federal bankruptcy court judge after he pled no contest to a DWI charge in which he accidentally rammed a pickup truck with his Mercedes on a Massachusetts road. Somma agreed to a 12 month suspension of his judicial license, and a $600 fine.
Except for a brief mention that Somma had trouble finding his driver's license in his PURSE, the police report did not say that Somma was busted wearing a black woman's cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels.
S. Olson
FORMER BANKRUPTCY JUDGE FOR THE 1ST DISTRICT
I thought I'd included Somma among the DUI/DWI types but I guess I left him out because he's not on my list. I include him because this is one of those stories too good to miss.
Somma quit his job as a federal bankruptcy court judge after he pled no contest to a DWI charge in which he accidentally rammed a pickup truck with his Mercedes on a Massachusetts road. Somma agreed to a 12 month suspension of his judicial license, and a $600 fine.
Except for a brief mention that Somma had trouble finding his driver's license in his PURSE, the police report did not say that Somma was busted wearing a black woman's cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels.
S. Olson
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
He Got Got Before He Could Get Someone Else - #275
#275 MICHAEL SCANLON
FORMER AIDE TO FORMER HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER AND
GOP COCKSUCKER #54) TOM DELAY
Why did Jack Abramoff (GOP Cocksucker #47) roll over so fast
on so many people when it cost him $21 million and more than
five years in the Slammer anyway? Well, because he knew
THIS fucking guy was out there, for starters and because he
knew two things about GOP cocksuckers:
A. Outside of money, the only thing they respect is their own
skins.
B. They'll roll on ANYBODY if they think it will shrink the time
they have to spend behind bars.
In other words, #47 got Scanlon before he could get him.
Scanlon was a little more blatant about how money-hungry he
is. In a couple of e-mails, he said of one Indian tribe that was
an Abramoff client, "I want ALL their money!" Scanlon pled
guilty to--sez the Washington Post-- "conspiring to defraud
Indian tribes out of millions of dollars as part of a lobbying and
corruption scheme that involved wining and dining of some
lawmakers, treating them to lavish trips and contributing to
their campaigns."
He ended up having to pay $19 million in restitution in
exchange for helping prosecutors. No word on any prison
sentence. When Scanlon's lawyer was asked if DeLay should
be worried, he said, "You'll have to ask Mr. DeLay's lawyers
about that."
S. Olson
FORMER AIDE TO FORMER HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER AND
GOP COCKSUCKER #54) TOM DELAY
Why did Jack Abramoff (GOP Cocksucker #47) roll over so fast
on so many people when it cost him $21 million and more than
five years in the Slammer anyway? Well, because he knew
THIS fucking guy was out there, for starters and because he
knew two things about GOP cocksuckers:
A. Outside of money, the only thing they respect is their own
skins.
B. They'll roll on ANYBODY if they think it will shrink the time
they have to spend behind bars.
In other words, #47 got Scanlon before he could get him.
Scanlon was a little more blatant about how money-hungry he
is. In a couple of e-mails, he said of one Indian tribe that was
an Abramoff client, "I want ALL their money!" Scanlon pled
guilty to--sez the Washington Post-- "conspiring to defraud
Indian tribes out of millions of dollars as part of a lobbying and
corruption scheme that involved wining and dining of some
lawmakers, treating them to lavish trips and contributing to
their campaigns."
He ended up having to pay $19 million in restitution in
exchange for helping prosecutors. No word on any prison
sentence. When Scanlon's lawyer was asked if DeLay should
be worried, he said, "You'll have to ask Mr. DeLay's lawyers
about that."
S. Olson
Friday, November 27, 2009
Mr. Corruption - #274
#274 MARK ZACHARES,
SENIOR STAFFER ON THE HOUSE TRANSPORTATION COMMITTEE
As if he's not in trouble enough with the Coconut Road Scandal, in which an earmark for a Florida road was inserted into the highway bill AFTER it passed by either Transportation Committee Chairman Rep. Don Young of Alaska (GOP Cocksucker #289) or someone on his staff, Young has to consider Jack Abramoff (GOP Cocksucker #47) as well.
Why? Because of Mark Zachares, that's why. Zachares was also one of Rep. Young's staffers.
The feds had Zachares cold. Seriously. This 'patriotic American' was funneling information to Abramoff about the reorganization of the Homeland Security Department, federal disaster and highway aid, and maritime issues.
Zachares made a plea deal with the feds that if they didn't prosecute his wife, he'd roll on everyone he knew. Before you nod tersely and look on Zachares with the approval of a man protecting his wife, be aware that Zachares was terrified that if he DIDN'T deal with the feds, his WIFE would. And while she couldn't testify against HIM, she could give the feds the names of people who COULD.
Zachares would plead guilty to one charge of conspiracy to deprive the public of honest services that included Abramoff giving him cash, $30,000 in sporting tickets and the promise of a high-paying lobbying job. He would also roll on his friends. In return, the feds would recommend 18-24 months of his life in prison and would not prosecute his wife.
Who is the most likely GOP cocksucker to fear what Zacharas may have said? It's not Young. It's none other than Rep. Tom Feeney of the Florida 24th. Feeney is up to his eyeballs in problems stemming from an infamous golfing trip to Scotland for which he charged the federal government over 5K as a 'fact-finding' trip.
[UPDATE: Feeney managed to run out the clock before getting trounced last year by 16 percentage points.]
S. Olson
SENIOR STAFFER ON THE HOUSE TRANSPORTATION COMMITTEE
As if he's not in trouble enough with the Coconut Road Scandal, in which an earmark for a Florida road was inserted into the highway bill AFTER it passed by either Transportation Committee Chairman Rep. Don Young of Alaska (GOP Cocksucker #289) or someone on his staff, Young has to consider Jack Abramoff (GOP Cocksucker #47) as well.
Why? Because of Mark Zachares, that's why. Zachares was also one of Rep. Young's staffers.
The feds had Zachares cold. Seriously. This 'patriotic American' was funneling information to Abramoff about the reorganization of the Homeland Security Department, federal disaster and highway aid, and maritime issues.
Zachares made a plea deal with the feds that if they didn't prosecute his wife, he'd roll on everyone he knew. Before you nod tersely and look on Zachares with the approval of a man protecting his wife, be aware that Zachares was terrified that if he DIDN'T deal with the feds, his WIFE would. And while she couldn't testify against HIM, she could give the feds the names of people who COULD.
Zachares would plead guilty to one charge of conspiracy to deprive the public of honest services that included Abramoff giving him cash, $30,000 in sporting tickets and the promise of a high-paying lobbying job. He would also roll on his friends. In return, the feds would recommend 18-24 months of his life in prison and would not prosecute his wife.
Who is the most likely GOP cocksucker to fear what Zacharas may have said? It's not Young. It's none other than Rep. Tom Feeney of the Florida 24th. Feeney is up to his eyeballs in problems stemming from an infamous golfing trip to Scotland for which he charged the federal government over 5K as a 'fact-finding' trip.
[UPDATE: Feeney managed to run out the clock before getting trounced last year by 16 percentage points.]
S. Olson
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A Short One - #272
#272 JARED CARPENTER,
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL OR
REPUBLICANS FOR ENVIRONMENTAL ADVOCACY
Carpenter plead guilty December 14, 2007 to a single count of income tax evasion over a three-year span. Carpenter got 45 days at a halfway house and four years of probation, because like all GOP cocksuckers, he busily ratted out someone else.
[UPDATE: Two more years of probation to go!]
S. Olson
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL OR
REPUBLICANS FOR ENVIRONMENTAL ADVOCACY
Carpenter plead guilty December 14, 2007 to a single count of income tax evasion over a three-year span. Carpenter got 45 days at a halfway house and four years of probation, because like all GOP cocksuckers, he busily ratted out someone else.
[UPDATE: Two more years of probation to go!]
S. Olson
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